The One Who Taught Me Love

I was always the studious one. Never having the time to enjoy and cherish the infinite beauty that life had to offer in all its glory. But this lasted only till he came along. The prince of my life and the man of my dreams.

He is everything I have always hoped for. Right from supporting my dreams to giving me my space to grow and the chance to look at life from my own eyes, he has made me a better person in infinite ways. They say behind every man there is a woman who has played an important part in his life and growth. But in my case, it is he who has played an important part in my life and in my growth. It is through him that I learned what it was to be loved, cherished and taken care of. It was through him that I understood the importance of  family relationships and friends. Till I met him, I was always awkward in a group, never knowing what to speak or how to speak. But when he walked into my life, he held my hand through various situations telling me how to deal with them, teaching me the importance of family and friends.

While he says that he is lucky to have me in his life, I can proudly say that I am luckier to have a man who understands and supports me; who stands by me through all the testing times and holds my hand through all the difficulties; who listens to my rants without judging me; who wipes out any speck of doubt that I have on myself. I am immensely lucky to have a man who cherishes me, loves me for what I am and respects me for the woman I wish to become. Thank you, my dear, for supporting me in all my dreams; being happier than me in all my successes and love me infinitely despite the many faults that I may carry. It is from you that I derive my strength and yes, I am absolutely glad and thankful for 3rd July 2013 – the day I said “yes” to your very charming proposal.

Urge to Learn – Are You There?

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I walked into my cousin’s room the other day and saw her expression – pained, tensed and upset beyond measure. I got worried, wondering whether her health was alright or whether something serious was bothering her. Upon asking the reason, I was shocked “I have an exam tomorrow and I can’t by-heart this question of Math!” I was appalled. Where had the urge to learn gone?

Yes, we too learnt things by-heart but never Math or practical subjects where understanding and learning the concept was of sole importance. But are these children to be blamed? Are the students alone to be blamed? Isn’t our method of teaching and our education system, a part of this saddening situation? Don’t the colleges set exceedingly high expectations and cut – off for the students that even one mark lesser than the cut – off makes them ineligible for the college? I know these are rhetorical questions, that have hit the minds of my counterparts in the field of education.

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We, as a society, so easily judge a student who has failed in the exams, rather than giving help, we mock at them. Without even knowing the caliber of the student, we brand them as incapable and useless. A naughty student is disliked by the teacher, while the same naughtiness can be channelized in a positive manner, to get excellent results. Exams, marks and ranks are given so much importance that the very basis of education – learning – has taken a back seat.

When we look at our forefathers and admire them for the mental prowess and practicality, we admire them. But have we ever thought, how have they managed to awe us constantly with their mental prowess? Its because they were in no pressure to constantly prove themselves. Because the person, the experience and the learning was given more importance than the outcome and the marks.

Dear authorities, please note, the learning is most important. Its about how well has the student understood the concept and the maximum learning that he can derive from the entire class and the session. The emphasis has to be about how well the students have understood the concept and the subsequent practicality of the same. The emphasis should be on creating better people rather than just better employees. It is okay to remove redundant concepts and introduce newer and practical based concepts. It is okay if the student hasn’t scored 90+ because tomorrow, marks are not going to determine his life. Remember the age old times when the teacher gave importance to the student rather than how much he learnt. An exam was given to test the capability of the student rather than the amount he has “mugged”.

The prime importance of the education system should be on creative application of concepts to create newer business ideas, concepts and industries. Arts is NOT useless and has to be given equal importance as the other subjects and this importance has to be emphasized. Dear Authorities, if you chance upon this post please take the suggestions into consideration, as these are the suggestions from a person within the system. A student, now a lecturer. Please take these into consideration because it is really okay to get lesser marks, but it is NOT ok to lose a life for those marks. No parent wants to pressurize the child for marks again, no mother wants to see the child dead because of the marks and no student wants to buckle under the pressure of the seemingly insurmountable aspect called marks.

Please take this into consideration for the student, for the teacher, for the parent and for the society. Please. For this alone will get the smile back on the face of my 12 year old cousin and so many others like her (elder or younger).

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LOVE ACTUALLY? NOT!

There was an anxious glare in her eyes when she told me how her boyfriend had stopped picking her calls and how he was conveniently avoiding her. “Calm down”, said I. “But he promised me marriage”, she screamed. I came home disheartened at not being able to cheer my friend up from the depths of her sorrows.

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I came home and looked at my mom and dad who have been together for so many years.  They have been through everything – ups downs, happiness and sadness, pain and joy and through innumerable experiences that have been stored away in the depths of their memories never to be forgotten. Where has that love gone in today’s world? Has it become so easy to promise marriage and conveniently ignore the partner (irrespective of the reason)? We have moved on, we have become extremely modern. But have we become so modern that the very definition of love has been changed by this modernity?

The youth of today (not that I am too old – here I refer to my counterparts), leave me in awe. Yes, my counterparts leave me in awe about their definitions of love and relationships. No, I don’t mean to portray myself as the ever-so-righteous. But, seeing my friends go through the heartburn of rejection on a daily basis, I am appalled. Love has lost its definition. Love has lost its meaning. It has merely come to mean money, gifts and materialism. Trust, belief and support have taken a complete back seat.

It has become so easy for couples to “break-up” after years of being together, because they “suspect” their partners are “disloyal” to them. They suspect and suspect and suspect but can never agree to have a conversation. They hate each other’s habits but can never discuss it out and express themselves to each other. They can hide a few facts from their partners because they are “afraid” of a “fight”. What is the point, then, of the millions of communication means, classes and courses, when we cannot communicate something to the people we love the most? There is no dearth of communication means, but there is huge dearth of communication-be it written or oral or even gestural. Earlier a mere look from the partner would make the other know what exactly he /she were thinking at the time. Today, not even words can fill that gap, that void which has been created due to lack of communication. It is so easy to break up, move on, misunderstand and suspect. Why not voice the negative emotions out?  Why not vent it out and let go?

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Relationships have become so easy. “Aaj ye sahi. Ye nahi toh koi aur sahi”. But till when? Why make false promises when you can’t keep them? There was a time when one word from the mouth of an individual would bind him for life. But today, a million words also can never bind an individual. Where is the humanity gone? Where is that consideration for life, emotions and feelings? Where is the love – the real love that involves unending support, understanding and most importantly INCESSANT COMMUNICATION (irrespective of the consequences). That is what relationships truly are.

Relationships are easy to make, easier to break but extremely hard to hold on to. But when we can hold on to a relationship forever, we are indeed the most successful people on the phase of this earth (keeping out of consideration, fame, money and power).

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Being Fat is An Attitude. So Be Proud.

The other day someone told me “You need to drink more green tea, you are fat.” Well, I get a lot of these “tips” form “concerned” people and I said “Well, my friend, being fat is an attitude only a select few can carry off. Not everyone can carry off being fat. Being thin is easy to carry off, but you need a lot of confidence to carry off being fat. Try it out and tell me how easy or difficult it is”. There was silence.

Today, we judge people on the basis of how thin or how fat  they may be. What we forget is that everyone is fat. Yes, because fat is a component of our body composition and every single person has it in their body. Some people have more and some less. It is like blood cells, cholesterol, bile or any such enzyme or component of our body. Some people have more and some less, so why is fat considered as such a big thing? In simple words its like the hair on our head, some have  more and some have less. We don’t make it such a big issue as we make “fat”!

Yes, for  fitness reasons it is a factor to look at, more the body fat higher the risk for diseases and illnesses. But there is no other reason other than wellness that people should aim to become thinner. Judging a person and mocking at them just because they have more body fat than others is not going to help them. Today, being fat has become a crime. A person is not entitled to live just because they have more body fat!! And how fair is that?

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There is the stronger lot who care nothing about what people comment about them, but then there is also the  stronger lot who lose so much self esteem that it scars them for life. Have a heart, people. Tell people they are fat only if you have some advice to give them about their health. DO NOT tell people they are fat just because you want to have a good laugh at their expense. Would you like it if people commented on you? Think of the last time people commented on you, didn’t your blood boil? Didn’t you say “How can he/she say that about me? Have they had a look at their own self?” Then how can you do that to someone else on a daily basis? Have you ever thought of the mental torture  they may be going through even if they laugh it out?

Spare a thought for them as well. They are also human beings and deserve your support for they also wake up each morning with a promise to lose the extra fat. They also pray to the Almighty everyday to give them the strength to become thinner. They may smile but they tear up inside when they are bullied on a daily basis. They don’t show the tears but they die a million deaths everyday owing to your taunts. They don’t show it but they are never able to feel confident  in that dress ever again.

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And for those like me who have that excess body fat – there is nothing to feel bad about it. Remember we have that excess fat because we can carry it off, not because of anything else! And when we decide to lose it, we will – not under the pressure of those bullies but because we want to be fit and healthy.

So be proud. Because fat is an attitude. And not everyone can carry it off. So you and I are special! Really special.

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DO YOU REALLY CARE?

She was a 23 year old physiotherapist, who really wanted to become doctor so that she could help people. But she was brutally raped, raped in a manner that was so shocking that  it makes the hair stand  on end even today- one and a half years after the incident. The nation was in uproar and social networking sites were filled with the anger that no one ever saw till date. But what happened after that? Do we stop the men who try to tease a girl today do we just walk past, afraid that the same might befall us some day in the future? Are the policemen, the protectors of the society ready to take a complaint today when a harassed girl goes to file her complaint, without a few snide remarks? Are the women free today to wear as they please without the fear that they might “provoke” men to harass them just because of our clothing? Do the women confront a man openly who is trying to touch (grope) them  in a bus or a crowded place or do they just pass this as a “one – off” incident?   Are the women who are harassed by their bosses, and  senior colleagues brave enough to stand up against them or are they afraid of being victimised , because “its always the girl’s fault?” If we really and honestly answer these questions, the only answer that we can get from the depths of our soul is “NO”.

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He is just 6 years old, (the age when the only thing that bothered us was whether the chocolate was a Cadbury Dairy  Milk or a KitKat), and he is earning for his family – the father who drinks, the mother who is pregnant and gets beaten by the father and the younger brother who is always bawling and crying because he is hungry. We speak so much about child labour, but do not hesitate a second to hire a child to clean the vessels  in our homes because he “costs less” ? He/She works in a restaurant where we go with our children,  nephews and nieces, they come clean the tables and look at us. We avert our eyes, not because their look disgusts us, because deep down, somewhere in the corner of our hearts we are guilty. Guilty that we do not have a voice strong enough to question the restaurant owners about the hiring of child labourers.   Guilty that our children question us as to why they are working and cannot study. Guilty, because we know that if we really wanted we could have fought for them, given them a better life, but we didn’t do so, because it is so complicated. The  simplest and the lamest excuse we give is that they are the breadwinners  of the  family and they don’t have  anyone to support them. Of course they will shy away from telling us the truth. Of course they will say they are not interested to study, because they have been threatened that if they open their mouth they will be killed. Would we have wanted this for our children? Would we have allowed our children to even pick a heavy school bag when they were/are 6 years old? The answer is an obvious NO. Then how can we allow their peers to do so?Just because we happen to be more well off than their families? Just because we think that a good life is entitled to only those who have a 5-6 digit monthly salary in their pockets? Well, the answer to this is also a NO.

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She is 12 years old. And he is 13. She loves her dolls and he his bikes and car toys. She doesn’t even know why she is being dressed up like her bridal doll and he wonders what’s happening around him because its not his birthday. With a ruthless smile the parents of the children push them into a relationship called marriage when they don’t even know how beautiful this bond is and how sacred they should hold it. The girl can never study again, never laugh loudly again, never run around and play again – just because she is married now and has to confine her life to the kitchen at that tender age. Looks like a story out of a book? Well, it is a story out of a book called life. Their “educated” family members from the city, who lead a posh life do not open their mouth against this insanity, because its none of their business. But their daughter of the same age can attend this wedding but will not get married until she is 25. Again, would we want a life like this for our children? Pat comes the reply. NEVER. So when we are witness to such insanity, why don’t we open our mouths? SILENCE.

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“Do unto others as you would expect others to do unto you” – is an age-old adage. But we never live by it. NEVER. They also deserve a life. They also deserve happiness. They also deserve love as much as we do. They are also human beings. If human beings can’t stand up for their own counterparts, who will?  We have a voice. Let’s find it. I have. Have you?

best-friends1-1024x768HELP THEM SMILE. IT WILL MAKE YOU SMILE AS WELL.

Reflections

Sitting in your balcony and looking outside can have a deep effect on you, especially if you are someone like me – reflective. 

We all have had our share of ups and downs, we have all had a set of friends who would do anything to pull you down to your lowest, the point where you thought you would never get up again. 

Well, I had them too – considering I was the sincere, nerdy kind who always cared what others thought and felt. Later did I realise, there are many people out there who are not worth it. Pity is the emotion that reigns in my heart when I come across people who think are center of the universe and so would say right things always. Well, its not about saying the right things always, it is also about doing things right sometimes. 

When, oh, when will people realise that it is not all about looks always? It is also about your worth and your intellect that counts sometimes. Yes, there may be people in the world who may be shabbily dressed, but if we try speaking to them, we would know that there is s much still left to learn. Life is not about laughing always, it is about who has the last laugh. It is about who has that power over you so much so that they can inspire you to do greater things, things that you think are above your capability. 

Life is not just about fun, fashion and enjoyment. Life is also about passion, truth and depth. The sooner we realise this, the better it will be for us and for others.  

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The Pieces of My Heart – II

5th September 2013

“Dear Diary,

Today was Teachers Day at college. There was a fair organized and we had a lot of fun setting up the stalls. But while putting up the decorations Shashank was constantly by my side and thankfully so, because my legs started shivering, I lost balance and fell down. I don’t know why but somewhere I feel he knows all about my pain and suffering and is not showing it to me. But how will he know? Only mom dad and Choti know about it. But you know what, the pain has increased now, so much so that even walking a little is an unbearable task. What else is kept in store for me only He knows. But for now, I have no other request from God except to give me the strength to go ahead in all this pain. Ah… Have to go now. Shashank has asked me to come home, that too fully dressed up! Funny he is, he will just ask me to do so many things which I can never make a head or tail of.”

She is coming today, and I am going to tell her all about what I feel for her. She is going to get angry for sure, but I want her to know that no matter what I will always love her and more than anything I will be there with her in all her moments.

(The door bell rings and the dialogue ensues as under)

S – “ Hi Reshma, how are you?”

R- “Haha! This formality doesn’t suit you one but Shashi! Haha!”

S – Reshma, I want to tell you something. This is something I have wanted to tell you for a long time but never got the chance. I love you”

R – “What? What are you saying? Are you fine? Go away Shashi. You don’t need me behind you holding you back for nothing. Please go away. I don’t love you, do you get it? I don’t! I am not a normal human being, I have far too many shortfalls- more than you might even know. So please go away”

S – “Who said you had shortfalls? I know everything, I do about your pain and your suffering. No one told me but I just guessed. And no, this is no pity I am showing you just because you are ill. I love you for the strength you show, the laughter you dispense despite your pain and the love you shower on everybody. I will be there with you in all your moments and this is no pity. I love you Reshma. I know what lies ahead for us and your illness will not hold me back. Instead it has made me love you more because of the strength you have shown. You are no weak girl. I know later on the emotional aggression and behavioral changes will set in. I know all of it but it will never deter me from loving you and I know that. If you want me to carry you I will, if you want to shout at me I will be there, if you want to cry I will give you my shoulder – but I will never stop loving you because I can’t.”

Reshma walked away leaving me in the depth of sorrow and pain, not because she didn’t accept my proposal but because she thought I will love her because I pity her, because she felt she was not a normal being , not fit enough to be loved and cared for. I knew she was hurt, I knew she felt she had done something wrong and she would probably never come out of the thinking that she has spoiled my life. And so, that night I packed my bags and left to the US- to continue my education in the exchange program I had been selected for.

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6th November 2013

“Dear Diary,

S left. To the US for the exchange program and never told me so. I did leave the previous night because I was overwhelmed by what he told me. The way he said he loved me and would stand by me always. I love him too but I would never want to tell him so because I know that it will spoil his life forever and I would never be able to forgive me for that. He knew it all along, that I had Parkinson’s but never for once showed any sympathy to me and after considerable reflection realized that I love him too. For the respect he gave me and inspite of knowing everything treated me as an equal and not as someone with an illness. I wanted to tell it to him in the college today and came to know that he left. Why Shashi? Couldn’t you wait for just one day for me to give you an answer? But I know that you didn’t want me think forever that you sympathized with me and did whatever you did. Dear diary, you have been a great source of support for me in all the bad times of my life, but I know that I wouldn’t have to write anything here any longer because I have a person who is my personal diary, who has been and will be the storehouse of all my feelings. Today I am filled with peace , the peace of knowing that I am after all a normal person who can love and be loved. What a relief! As I take the last sip of my refreshing coffee, I am closing you dear diary with my deepest thoughts and feelings. I am doing this with a heavy heart, but I know you are always here and I can count on you whenever I wish to. The first thing I am going to do is write to Shashi about everything I have ever wanted to tell him.”

(And with a smile Reshma closed her diary. That smile came from her heart and it was a smile she longed to have and which she finally did – all because of the love she thought she would never have but finally found. The love that she knew will last for an eternity, the love that was far bigger than her illness, the love that helped her finally find her peace and made her feel free)

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The Pieces of My Heart – I

I love her. Yes I do, so much so that I would never ever let her realize that I know all about her pain and suffering. We are childhood friends and have known each other inside out or that’s what I thought until I laid hands on her diary. I used to tease her everyday, about how she will look when she is old, abut how fat she was (though she is not), how irritating she is and all that. She took it all very lightly and sportingly, without knowing to what depth of my heart I loved her. I loved her with all my life for she was not only my best friend but in my mind she was my life partner and I knew I could not be happy with anyone else. The other night she was having one of those rare days when she felt very bad about herself- it used to be rare but now it frequently occurred and she cried a lot. Where had her happiness gone? I was desperate to find out. I, for a fact, knew that she carried her diary everywhere she went. So when she went to lie down for a while, I slowly fished through her bag and pulled out the diary. I sat next to her on the bed where she was fast asleep and looked at her face. Tears rolled down her eyes even when she was asleep and that was the degree of her pain that I was determined to find the reason for.  I opened the diary and the posts read as follows:

1st February 2013

“Dear Diary,

Today Shashank (S) told me how I would look when I became old. But little does he know, that’s exactly how I am becoming now. My hands have started shaking and it is becoming painful for me to even hold a cup of tea. I conceal my pain from the world and ensure that everyone is happy around me, because that is my relief. My parents have kept their promise and never tell anyone about what I am going through. We will be going to the doctor tomorrow and we will find out why this is happening. But you know what, I am so grateful to the Lord to have my parents, sister and Shashank in my life. Shashank teases me everyday and in ordinary circumstances I would have felt bad, but I am happy that he is doing so. This makes me feel like a normal person and I know if he had known about my pain, the sympathetic look in his eyes would have killed me, because that’s the last thing I want. We will be going to the doctor tomorrow to find out why this is happening and I hope it is just a temporary thing that will pass away soon. Because I can’t bear to think about having this pain for my lifetime. Oh Diary! How nervous am I!”

2nd February 2013

“Dear Diary,

We went to the doctor and he got a lot of tests done. The reports will be out tomorrow. I went to meet S and as usual he relieved me of all my fears, without even knowing that he is making me feel better. I know, deep down he is aware that I am not OK and is doing more than he can to make me feel better. We have been friends from childhood and I don’t think how I can live without him or how I could have borne this tension if he was not there. Today he took me on a long drive and when we came back he prepared his specialty for me- spaghetti. I think he is the best chef I know, and after a few years I will ask him to enroll in a cooking course or set up a restaurant of his own. See, even talking about him relieves me of my pain. Oh Lord, my hands are shaking like anything and I don’t know what to do. It is painful for me to write and I think I will stop writing now. Lets hope the results are good tomorrow.”

3rd February 2013

“Dear Diary,

The results came and it has not done anything good to my esteem and my life. I don’t think my life will be normal ever again. I have a disease called Parkinson’s which is a central nervous system disorder. From what I have learnt, there are a few drugs that are effective only in the starting phases of the disease, but since it is progressing very fast in my body, the chances are bleak. The disease starts with shaking, rigidity and difficulty of gait and slowly spreads to emotional and behavioral problems. This is the worst day of my life and I don’t know what pain my parents are going through. They have been so strong since coming back from the doctors’ but I overheard mom crying and dad promising her that they will never make me feel about the disease. My sister is out in the lawn and I know she is also crying away to glory. All I want to do is run to Shashank’s house and be myself again- cheerful and happy. But on second thoughts, will I be ever able to do that again? I doubt. The reports have driven a hole through my heart and the emotional is pain is so much that I see no respite from it. What will I tell Shashank?  On second thoughts I will not tell him anything. I always feel happy and free with him and I want it to remain that way. My parents have also promised not to say anything to anybody, and so has my sister. This has made her more mature than her age and I am so proud of her. She is just in 8th standard and understands the gravity of the situation so much. I have never felt so helpless in my life and I know I can never live a normal life again.”

I closed the diary and looked at her. She hid this from me for 6 months? And bore all the pain on her own? Why? Why can she never lead a normal life again? I want her to , I will help her to and I will do that forever. I know what Parkinsons does to the body and the mind. I know that after a while she will not even be able to move, so what? I will carry her, bear all her tantrums and be with her always. But then again, I know she will think I am doing that out of pity and sympathy for her situation. But no, she is beautiful and strong and I am yet to come across a girl stronger than her. She is suffering so much and has not let anyone have a whiff of it. I know she cries a lot and I am glad that I am the one she cries in front of. Oh! How I love her and how much. This pain is something I cannot see, I cannot even think of how she is bearing it. She is the woman I want in my life as my life partner, and no one else.

I felt like crying, but I remembered how suffocating it was to see her parents and sister crying and I held back my tears, for that was my love for her. I silently sat next to her and took her hands in mine and looked at her for a long time before  she opened her eyes and looked at me. When she did, all I could do was smile.

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Energy Unlimited!

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We dance when we are fasting, we dance when we are ill, we dance even with a sprained foot! Meet us, we are the classical dancers. If you have seen a classical dance performance, there will be only one question in your mind- where do they get all the energy from? Infact, I performed in a temple here in Bangalore on Sunday and I was fasting for the whole day and broke my fast only after the performance. Normally, any one would be sapped out of energy by the end of a performance, but surprisingly I felt more energetic, lively and happy!

A classical dance performance ,Bharathanatyam ( the dance form I have studied) in particular is a dance form that is loaded with energy, steps and movements. An average dance item here is 7-8 minutes long and is filled with leaps, bounds and expressions that would leave anyone emotionally and physically tired. But we could go on for hours.

Actually our debut performance (Arangetram) is the longest, going upto 4 hours. But we are never out of energy-infact- the leap after is more energetic than the previous. Where do we get the energy from? Our inner self, our soul and our heart. when we say we put our heart and soul into dancing, we mean it. Our dance is a prayer offered to the Almighty for His unlimited grace and affection that He showers upon us. Every piece we do is a rendering to the Lord of Dance, Lord Shiva. And that’s where the energy comes from.

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He is the one who bestows upon us the never ending stamina and energy, who makes us feel at peace with ourselves inspite of all that might be happening around us. The vibrations we feel  even when we are performing in a hall that makes us cry is because we feel Him around us, because we at times even have a conversation with him through our performance. Even at practice sessions we get overwhelmed with emotions, that reflects on our faces. If you closely observe a dancer when she is performing or even at practice sessions, the smile you see on her face is genuine-something that comes from the heart, something that conveys pure bliss and happiness, something that transmits and you find yourself smiling and a certain kind of happiness radiating through you.

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Dance is an emotion, an expression, a movement so strong that it results in everyone around experiencing the same as the dancer. Talk to a dancer after a performance and you will find that she is the happiest then. Talk to a dancer and you will find that every word she utters is from the bottom of her heart and there is no malice in what she says. The beauty of the classical dance is such that it touches everyone, makes everyone cry and smile at the same time and is also the prayer of everyone. When you are at a performance as the audience and you pray to God then-consider your wish fulfilled. Why? Because the Lord is the happiest at that time and the most merciful.

For us dancers, dance is that form of expression that we find divine and the most beautiful. Dance is music, expression, love, peace, devotion, divinity and ultimate happiness. Dance is indeed our life, our breath, the reason for our very existence. Dance is an addiction so divine that it translates into our very being. Dance=Life

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Of Black Coffee, Guitar and Our Love…. Part – 2

You will cry when you read this. The most beautiful writer I have come across. I just had to reblog it Hira.

Over a Cup of Tea

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” A lot of atrocious thoughts were ballsing up her head since many days. These were not insecurities. It was just her genitive, unconditional love.

“He’s not perfect. I know that. Neither am I. I know that too. And together, we won’t be perfect ever. I am pretty sure about that too. But if he makes me laugh at lest once, causes me to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes. I’ll hold onto him and give him the most I can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, write long romantic narratives, he might not be thinking about me every moment, but he will give me a part of…

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The Beginning of a New Life? Maybe… Maybe Not….

 

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December 16 2012, the worst date in the history of India. The date that will be looked upon with shame by all of us in the world. The date  when a girl was brutally raped and mercilessly murdered by 6 men. The date that sent India into  a frenzy about women safety. The unfortunate girl was raped in such a way that left us questioning on the depth of inhumanity in the world and reflecting on the probability of the world coming to an end very soon. The end may not be as a natural end but an end where everyone kills each other. As a reader you might be shocked art what you are reading here, but what I am writing is the result of the bitterness that is pent up in me regarding the status of women in my society. 

First,coming to the verdict of the Delhi Gang Rape – The court “awarded” the culprits a death sentence. But when? On September 13 2013. 9 months after the horrifying incident. Did they really need so much time to sentence those four inhuman people? And the most shocking part was that there was a 16 year old guy among the convicts and he was sent to the juvenile home because he was not an “adult”. But reports suggest that he was the most brutal of the lot! How fair is that? That a person is old enough to commit a crime but not old enough to be sentenced? Where is the world heading to? Where is the justice we seek so much in our lives?

Another thing that has bothered me is the fact that the sentence has provided a ray of hope to us, but has it affected the crime rate? Yes, in such a way that there are more rapes happening! The verdict pronounced a new life for the women of the society but for how long? Eve today, my mother is scared to send me out in the night after it becomes dark. even today I am being whistled at and commented at on the road. Even today a girl who wears shorts and walks down the busy road is stared at by the evil eyes mercilessly. Where has the change come?

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You know what, the main reason in this whole mindset is in the fact that the boys are taught and have observed at a very young age that a girl has is an object to be stared at and whistled at. Is this the future we want our daughters to have? Why is a girl still afraid to tell her parents and family when she has been harassed and sexually abused? Why is a girl still at fault when she has been abused? Why is a girl still referred to as “maal” and why are there rules only for a girl to behave? Cant a guy control his hormones and give the respect to a woman that she deserves? In a country that worships the Devi with so much reverence and respect and devotion, where does this respect go when they see a girl? Devi (Goddess) is a woman herself and is bleeding from the inside at the plight of the women in a land that worships Her.

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O You Male Chauvinist Pig, who thinks that a woman is an object to be stared and enjoyed, don’t forget you have come into this world because a woman brought you here, Cliche as it may sound, you will gauge out the eyes of a guy who stares at your sister, but you will without any hesitation do the same with someone else’s daughter. Is that what you have been taught?  Please learn to respect a woman and her dignity, so that you can (if not anything else) at least face yourself in the mirror and look into your sister’s eyes as well.

P.S To all the guys who are reading this blog- I am sure your blood boils too when you see your folk indulge in something like this.

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Just a small request to keep this smile on… As well as the dignity.

The Face i Shall Never Forget

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The other day,  when I was returning home, a little girl came up to my auto and begged me to buy her wares. On an ordinary basis I wouldn’t have bought the wares as the money she would earn goes into the hands of her parents or her employers and she probably wouldn’t even have received enough share to buy herself a meal. I would usually ask these children whether they go to school and if they didn’t, would ask them the reason why. If possible, I would ask the employer as to why they weren’t being sent to school and the like. But, this time what happened was quite different. The look in the girls’ eyes was similar to that of the picture above and her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Her eyes conveyed the pain and suffering she was going through and all I wanted was to hug her and make her feel important and loved. I finally agreed to buy a key chain (Lord Ganesha) and paid her Rs. 50 for it and waited for the change. All of a sudden, as though by divine intervention, the signal turned green and the auto moved away. The girl was honest enough to run after the auto with the change but had to move away due to the traffic.I smiled, looked at the key chain and realised it was all His doing. He knew what I was going through when I looked at the girl and in His own way gave the girl what she would have wanted. I just prayed that she got more In her share and slept that night with a filled stomach and a smile.

The look on her face is something I will always remember and never ever forget. That pain, those eyes screaming out loud for love, care and affection, those lips that smiled for the world but did not convey the true feeling of the heart. The voice that concealed pain, but spoke just for the sake of it.  I wouldn’t ever forget that girl or those eyes.

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What is their fault? That they have been in a poor family? The Government has sanctioned so many policies to reduce child labour. Isn’t it our responsibility to see to it that children are not made to work? Yes, it is a difficult process, but is not impossible. If we will to we can make it happen. Why can’t we as educated people take the step to question the ones who violate the government rules and take them to task? The law is on our side and if we take the charge to implement it, nothing can stop us. We want all types of rights and when some are taken away, make a hue and cry about it. But what about the rights of those little ones who are made to live an unfair and sad life for no fault of their own? Why can’t we grant them their rights? How difficult is it? Lets make an attempt today. After all we have to be the change we want to see in the world.

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This is the smile of a child – pure, innocent and full of life. May this smile never die and let us take it upon itself to make it live for eternity.

The Maternal Instinct

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Around a month back, a pigeon laid 2 eggs in our balcony. All of us were very careful not to disturb it or touch its eggs, though we were very tempted to keep grains and water for it, but did not do so for fear as to how it will receive the gesture. But there was something that alarmed me, that made me realise, whatever may be the species The Almighty has made all mothers alike-unselfish, indefinitely caring and ultimately unasking. This mother pigeon would fly away when we entered the balcony,  only to return a few seconds later. Hardly going out for food and water this mother bird would patiently sit on her eggs to make them hatch. And finally one day they did and two little birds came out.

This entire experience just proved one thing – mothers will always be mothers- unasking, unconditionally giving, keeping the child before oneself and ever-caring. She is the one who teaches us about life, about the ways of it and the way to live it. She is indeed the epitome of patience and care and there can NEVER be anyone like her.

O Mother! You are indeed the avatar of God on this earth and I bow to you for your greatness, love, patience, and understanding. Love you Ma!

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The Oath of the Vayuputras

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Well, in my previous post about the Shiva Trilogy, I had promised to write the review of the final book of this wonderful trilogy. The Oath of the Vayuputras is a fitting end to the wonderful trilogy by  Amish Tripathi-the author who sacrificed his career in investment banking for writing after his first book the Immortals of Meluha was a grand success. 

The Oath of the Vayuputras elaborates on Shiva’s quest to find the truth and when he comes across the reality of what is really the Evil-he is shocked, but reconciles soon enough to spearhead the fight against the Evil. The entire book, in fact the trilogy, revolves around the premise that everything has two faces- Good and the Evil. The book reflects our life in  a way. We view so many things as Evil and refuse to see the Good in it. The book has in fact taught me how to NOT judge things by the looks and to actually assess the Good of a supposed Evil as well. 

The entire book explains the various strategies that Shiva uses and the wonderful storyline keeps you attached to the book, so much so, that you just want to keep reading it repeatedly. As  readers that’s what we all expect from books, isn’t it? Well the Shiva Trilogy fulfills these expectations to the fullest. I genuinely recommend the book to all. It is indeed an excellent read! 

Om Namah Shivaya! 

Its Our Day Today!

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Om Namah Shivaya- I salute the Lord of Dance, the one who blesses us all everyday and every moment, giving us the energy to dance, perform and be our best always. Om Namah Shivaya

I was standing in the Dubai Metro station (am here for a week and yes am posting this from here), and was listening to my favorite songs, when some of the beats of the song, I was listening to got my feet tapping and my body swaying- all this in the middle of the metro. My friend stared at me and said, “you do have an idea that we are in the middle of the busiest stations in town, right?”. All i could do was laugh and roll my eyes, which just received nothing but a glare from her!

But, that’s how we dancers are-any good music get us swaying and tapping and yes not to forget the expressions on our faces when the we can relate to the words in the songs. People may think we are mad, insane and maybe at times even eccentric, but that’s how we are. But being a dancer gives so much positivity and strength to us, so much so that we have a different outlook to life altogether. We laugh at ourselves, know how to carry ourselves even if we are in our pajamas, know how to be enthusiastic all day and manage to keep the bright smile on even after a grueling day at work. Dance is the best exercise ever and all of us who enjoy music are dancers. Dance keeps the body supple and the soul perpetually young and positive.

Dancers can be distinguished from the way they walk, carry themselves and from their very outlook towards life. In fact all of us are dancers. because we all randomly move our hands and legs to the music and have at one time or the other really danced. Today is World Dancer’s Day and I wish each one of you a very happy Dancer’s Day. Let us sway to the rhythm of life, dance to its tunes and let smile be the constant expression we carry on our faces always.

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DANCE-the most blissful activity indeed!